


Eye in the Sky

by BeveStuscemi



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-03-13 08:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeveStuscemi/pseuds/BeveStuscemi
Summary: Being the support team for a dangerous mission that can have devastating effects on governments, warfare and the political climate can be a pretty tough job. However, it can also be fun.Alternative Title: Zero, Sigint, and Para-Medic try and live with each other.





	1. Chapter 1

In a doctor’s office, vomiting, chills and high temperatures were usually a cause for concern. For Para-Medic, it was just another day in the office.  
“Not again…” She picked up her headset and placed them back on her head, preparing herself for the imminent codec call.  
“What’s wrong?” Sigint swiveled in his chair to face her and she did not look impressed.  
“He’s eaten another poisonous frog.”  
Sigint sighed and turned back to his own screen, leaving Para-Medic to deal with Snake. Sigint had always considered himself to have a strong stomach but after Para-Medic allowed him to look at her screen and he saw footage of Snake vomiting profusely, he quickly changed his mind.  
“...poisonous frog.” He murmured as he kicked his legs on the desk and listened to Para-Medic babysit.

  
“Okay, go to your backpack. You’ve opened it? Good.”  
“You think he’d get used to getting poisoned.” Sigint thought out loud, still looking at the screen in front of him.  
“Drink the medicine, it’s in the blue packet. If you drink it- No, I don’t care what it tastes like, just drink it!” Sigint could hear Para-Medic arguing over the codec, berating Snake like a mother disciplining an unruly child.  
“But apparently not.” He finished, shrugging.  
“Just stay where you are for ten minutes and let the medicine fully break down the poison. Call me if there are any problems.” Para-Medic ended the codec call and turned over to Sigint, a look of frustration on her face.  
“That’s the third one he’s had. _Third,_ ” She punctuated her sentence by holding up three fingers before continuing. “I put that medicine in there in case he had a reaction to the flora, not because he’s eating frogs!”  
“What did he say?”  
She rolled her eyes. “Same as usual. ‘ _I’m dying, I feel ill, I’ve eaten poison again!’”_ This was said in a mock falsetto voice, an in-joke between Sigint, Para-Medic and occasionally Zero when Snake was acting like a little wimp.  
Sigint laughed. He found the concept of one of the world’s greatest soldiers being rendered into a moaning, complaining mess quite contradictory. Scratch that, he found it hilarious.  
“Hey, Para-Medic?”  
“Yeah?” She cocked her head to the side and looked at Sigint’s evil grin.  
“Wanna eat these ramen noodles and codec call Snake to piss him off?”  
She returned the grin. “You know I do!


	2. Chapter 2

“SIGINT!” Zero’s voice echoed throughout the airship and Para-Medic jumped so high that her headset fell off.   
“Jesus! Yeah, Major?” Sigint called back, having dropped a pistol he was trying to customise.   
Zero was standing in the doorway which connected the cockpit to the main body of the airship and in his hand was a floral pink teacup. “This tea is disgusting, what did you do to it?”   
Sigint blinked a couple of times and looked at the teacup. The airship did a rotation on who made the hot beverages and today was Sigint’s turn.  “I didn’t do anything to it, man!”   
“Sigint, this tea tastes like those godawful dinners I have to eat. What did you do to it?”   
Sigint was starting to laugh at how stupid the whole situation was and he pinched the bridge of his nose to try and compose himself.   
“Sigint! You’re laughing, what did you do?” Zero took a step closer to Sigint and his face was dark in anger. Para-Medic kept her head down and began to flick through a book on Russian fauna to stay out of the drama.   
“What the hell?” Sigint’s voice nearly cracked due to the incredulous tone he gave. “I didn’t do anything! I put the teabag in the cup, put the water in, put it in the microwave and then I-”   
“You did _what_?” Zero’s mouth fell open in shock and the airship suddenly descended into silence. The pilots stopped talking, Para-Medic closed her book and even the machinery around them seemed to quieten.

“You don’t put the Major’s tea in the microwave, Sigint.” Para-Medic’s voice was barely more than a whisper, though she was frightened.   
Sigint looked at the microwave next to the cockpit entrance. There was nothing wrong with it, save for a few gravy stains from the chicken dinners and the slight smell of artificial meat. But as Sigint looked closer, he noticed something. Just behind the microwave, slightly hidden due to the lighting was a small, white kettle.   
“How was I meant to know you wanted kettle water? Back home we just use the microwave!”   
Para-Medic gave an audible gasp and she looked at Zero whose eyes were clouded and glaring straight into Sigint’s soul.   
“Do you think I brought my kettle to this airship for my own amusement, Sigint?”   
“Shit! I didn’t know Major. I’m sorry, man!” Sigint held up his hands, hoping in some bizarre way they’d calm down the ever advancing Major.   
“Listen to me, Sigint.” Zero grabbed the collar of his jacket and pulled him close to him so that Sigint’s cap was barely an inch from the Major’s forehead. “If you ever _dare_ make my tea from the microwave again, I’ll personally kick your incompetent yankee-doodle arse off my ship and back to whatever backwards microwave-water-drinking state you come from. Is that clear?”   
Sigint swallowed. “Yes, Major.”   
“Good.” Zero let go of Sigint’s collar and disappeared into the back of the airship and Sigint let out a sigh of relief when he could no longer hear Zero’s heavy footsteps.

“That was scary, man!” Sigint took off his cap and threw it on the desk, wiping the beads of sweat from his brow. “Still, not as scary as the time he threatened to _kill me_ for saying fish and chips taste like shit.”   
“Or that time you said cookies and scones were the same thing.” Para-Medic said, still shaking from the whole encounter.   
“Or that time you said that the Major had a ‘British accent.’” One of the pilots chimed in.   
“No, he was scariest when Sigint called rugby ‘dollar store football.’” The co-pilot said, nudging his friend.   
“Whatever,” Sigint rolled his eyes and picked up his pistol, now fidgeting with the trigger. “And for the record, fish and chips still do taste like shit.”   
“I HEARD THAT!” Came a deep, booming voice from inside the HALO deck.


	3. Chapter 3

_ “...anyone quite like you _ .”    
“Huh?” Para-Medic held her headset close to her ears and squinted as she tried to make out what Snake was saying. “Snake, do you read me?”    
He continued to mumble to himself for about a minute before Para-Medic realised what was going on. With a quick look at his vitals, heart rate, and blood pressure, she knew  _ exactly _ what was going on.    
“Sigint! Come over here!” She beckoned him over with a wave and Sigint, who was holding his fifth cup of coffee walked over.    
“What’s up?”    
“Listen!” She held her headset up to Sigint who then placed it over his cap and began to listen in.    
“Yo! Snake!” He paused, confused. “Snake?”    
“He’s on an open codec call, he can’t hear us.”   
“Why’s he on open call? What’s going on?”    
“He fell off a rock earlier and hit the side of his head, I think it’s lodged the earpiece and now he’s on open call.”    
“Oh,” Sigint continued to listen in on the conversation, still perplexed. “Who’s he talking to?”    
“EVA.” Para-Medic said quickly, somewhat smug.    
“How do you know that?”   
Para-Medic gave a girlish grin. “Because his heart rate is going crazy!”   
Sigint cringed and handed the headset back to Para-Medic. “Man, save me that lovey-dovey shit.”    
“Oh, Sigint!” Para-Medic squealed when she put the headset back on. “He just called her a good person. Oh, that is so  _ cute _ !” It was like Para-Medic had regressed twelve years and was now a giggling teenager listening to her friend talking about boys. She kicked her legs and gasped as she listened more intently to the conversation and would occasionally look up at Sigint and mouth ‘ _ So cute! _ ’ before turning back. Zero strode out of the cockpit and back into the body of the airship and he walked over to join Sigint and Para-Medic. 

“Sigint, why are you over here?” The Major placed a hand on Sigint’s shoulder and the man simply sighed and pointed to Para-Medic.    
“Para-Medic, is something wrong? Has something happened?”    
Para-Medic was a giggling mess. “Ooh, Major! Snake’s talking to EVA!”    
The Major was now wearing the same confused mask Sigint had. “And?”    
“It’s just too cute!”    
The two men looked at each other and then back at Para-Medic and for the first time in his life, Zero looked completely lost.    
“I did not hire the best field medic and analyst aboard my airship for her to play jungle matchmaker!”   
“Thank you!” Sigint yelled, finally getting some sense aboard the ship.   
“Major, listen!” Para-Medic placed the headset to Zero’s ears and watched as his expression melted from frustration into what looked like interest.    
“He’s smooth, I’ll give him that.” Zero said, now holding the headset by himself. “Oh, that’s a good line, I’ll remember it.”    
“Nah, I gotta hear this!” Sigint snatched the headset out of the Major’s hands and eavesdropped again. His normally relaxed expression ranged from bouts of cringing, laughing and nodding in agreement.    
“That’s it, reel her in nice and easy.”   
“What’s he saying? What’s he saying?” Para-Medic was practically jumping in her seat, trying to listen in.    
“Disconnect the headset, Sigint. That way we can all listen.”    
Sigint unplugged the headset from the codec machine and the airship was suddenly alive with Snake’s voice and all three FOX members remained still, waiting for the next part of the conversation.    
“ _ You shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are, EVA. You’re intelligent, independent, beautiful… _ ”    
The two pilots began to howl in laughter, with varying degrees of shrieking, belly laughs and snickers.   
“Never thought I’d hear him say that!” The co-pilot yelled to the back of the airship before continuing his laughing fit. 

“ _ Even though we’re tools of the government, we can still be good people. _ ”    
“Man, just say you wanna bang and get it over with.” Sigint said, rolling his eyes at the soppiness.    
“Shush, I want to hear more.” Para-Medic waved him down in excitement.    
“ _ The Boss? No, she wasn’t my lover _ .”   
“He’s in.” Said the pilot.   
“ _ I’ve never had a proper lover. War was my lover but I’ve never had the luxury of having someone care for me like that. _ ”    
“So romantic…” Para-Medic gushed.   
Sigint turned to Zero, looking slightly guilty. “Should we turn off the codec? I feel kinda weird listening in.”    
“No, we’ve got to make sure he isn’t…  _ fraternising _ with a potential enemy!” Zero nodded at his own lazy excuse and ignored the huffing Sigint. 

After another five minutes of to-and-fro conversation, Snake fell silent and his heart rate began to return to its normal beats per minute and his vitals were back to where they should be. The eavesdropping session was concluded.    
Para-Medic turned to the two men, somewhat disappointed. “EVA’s gone.”    
The pilots moaned now that their entertainment was over and were now back to ensuring the airship wasn’t shot down or detected on any enemy radar.    
Zero nodded. “That’s good, now Snake can get on with what really matters - the mission.”    
“I agree with the Major,” Sigint added. “Besides, with the open codec we’ll be able to hear what Snake is really feeling and then we can call him based on that instead of having to wait for him to call us.”    
“Good point, Sigint! Open codec isn’t as useless as I thought.” Para-Medic clapped Sigint on the shoulder for his invention and for making their lives a little easier in the long-run.    
“ _ Well, time to jerk off I guess. _ ”    
“On second thought, yes it is.” Zero said in horror as he ended the transmission.


	4. Chapter 4

“Four of a kind,” Sigint smirked as he placed the cards down on the counter, folding his arms in satisfaction. “Put a dollar in the box, Doc.”   
Para-Medic remained unreadable, but she slowly lowered her own set of cards before nodding at the smiling Sigint.   
“Straight flush,” She said finally before gesturing to the small cardboard box on the counter. “That’s another dollar from _you_ , Sigint.”   
Sigint groaned and fished out another dollar from his jacket pocket. He tossed the crumpled dollar into the box before slumping against the chair furiously.   
“That’s the sixth dollar I’ve put in there!” He said, as he pointed to the box. “How are you constantly winning?”   
Para-Medic chuckled as she picked up the cards to shuffle them.   
“I’m just naturally good.” She said sweetly as Sigint fought the urge to throw the box at her.   
“Bullshit! You don’t naturally win six rounds of poker, you’ve done something.”   
“Well,” She began, as she started to shuffle the cards in her hands. “We aren’t playing real poker. There’s no chips or betting so it’s a lot easier to bluff.”  
Sigint rolled his eyes. “That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard. You’ve cheated somehow.”   
Para-Medic looked up from the deck, a half-smile playing on her lips. “You got me.”   
“What a surprise!” Sigint kicked his feet on the small counter, still furious. “How’ve you been doing it?”   
The doctor paused, thoughtful as though she was deliberating whether or not to tell him. She pursed her lips as she continued to shuffle.   
“Come on!” Sigint nudged her elbow with the tip of his boot and Para-Medic finally relented. “  
“Fine. I know how to count cards.”  
Sigint shot her a confused look as he stared at the cards moving frantically in her hands. “How the hell?”   
“Oh, I’m pretty good at remembering things. Whilst I’m shuffling this deck I can remember exactly where that ace of hearts is or where that nine of spades is. Then I organise them into a pattern I can deal, and I always make sure that I get the winning deck.”   
The agile movements of her hands enthralled Sigint who watched, mouth agape as the cards slipped in and out of her fingers, behind her head and in and out of the deck. The doctor was a woman of many talents, but her deftness with cards had thoroughly surprised Sigint.   
“Hey, Para-Medic…”   
“Hmm?” She tilted her head in Sigint’s direction as half a deck of cards flew past her head.   
“Think you can teach me?”

“What the bloody hell is going on here?” Zero had entered the main body of the airship, a hefty stack of paperwork in hand. He cast a dark look at both Sigint and Para-Medic who were both juggling cards in their hands and he shook his head furiously.   
“Are you two aware that we the supporting team for a mission? And that our agent is in a cell in the middle of the Soviet Union?”    
“Oh, he’s fine!” Para-Medic brushed him off before she paused. “Well no, that’s a lie. Snake’s lost an eye and just got tortured but he’s unconscious and probably won’t be awake anytime soon. So that left me and Sigint with very little to do.”  
“Which is why we’re playing cards.” Sigint said, retrieving a four of diamonds from the floor.   
“Which is why…? Are you two honestly being serious?”   
“Yeah. Wanna join, Major?” Sigint waved the card in the air, beckoning the Major to join them.   
The Major’s mouth fell open as he tried to string a sentence together to berate them. On the third stutter he decided to sigh and pull up a chair around the makeshift poker table.

Para-Medic clapped her hands. “Okay, there’s three of us now! Let’s make it a bit more interesting.”  
Sigint felt her lightly tap his leg beneath the counter and shot her a confused look. She gave him a small wink.   
“Let’s play strip poker!”   
Sigint nearly choked on his own laughter while the Major’s face burned red. Perhaps it was pride or his British stiff upper lip, but the Major refused to back down.   
“Fine.”  
“Excellent!” Para-Medic said and Sigint could hear the malice behind her saccharine tone. “Some ground rules. This isn’t regular poker since we don’t have chips. I’ll lay three cards on the table, I’ll give everyone two. You either stay in or you forfeit, there’s no checking or betting. I’ll lay another card on the table and you do the same. By the time there’s five cards in the middle, the remaining players will reveal. Loser loses clothes.”   
The Major blinked a couple of times. “Wait, what…?”  
“Okay! Let’s play!” Para-Medic shouted as she collected the cards from Sigint. She restarted her little ritual of shuffling the cards, humming to herself as she did so. Zero watched in awe as the cards disappeared and reappeared, trying to focus on her movements.   
“Ready?” She asked, the fully shuffled deck in hand. “Let’s go.”

Single cards flew across the table and landed in the lap of the respective player. Three more cards were then placed in the middle and turned over. Six of diamonds, six of clubs, seven of clubs.   
Sigint checked his hand. It was an appalling two of hearts and Jack of spades and was probably Para-Medic’s way of telling him to forfeit the game as quickly as he can.   
“So Major, what’s your choice?” Para-Medic said, not looking up from her deck.   
“I’ll…” The Major looked over his cards again. “I’ll stay.”  
“Sigint?”  
“Fold.” He said as he lay his cards flat on the table.   
“I’ll stay as well.” Para-Medic said as she turned over the next card. Eight of clubs.   
Zero remained straight-faced as Sigint watched him stare into his cards. “I think I’ll stay.”  
The doctor nodded. “Me too.”   
She reached to the deck and revealed another card. Five of spades.   
“Okay, go on and reveal.” Sigint beckoned as the Major turned over his six of hearts and seven of diamonds.  
“Full house!” He said triumphantly as he folded his arms.   
“Good deck,” His opponent said. “But straight flush is better.”  
In front of Para-Medic were the cards nine of clubs and ten of clubs. Zero’s face turned crimson again. He has taken off his bomber jacket a while ago, exposing his DPM shirt.   
“ _Perhaps this is a bad idea_ ,” Sigint thought. “ _Do I really wanna see the Major naked?_ ”    
Sigint cringed a little as the Major began to unbutton his shirt, leaving only a white tank top to cover his chest. “ _Too late now._ ”

“Ready for the next game?” Para-Medic chimed, already throwing cards into the air like a magician.   
“Yes. Obviously.” Zero was a delightful mix of humiliated and livid, and seemed desperate to involve either Sigint or Para-Medic in his humiliation.  
Fat chance.   
Before Sigint knew it, two more cards were in front of him and three more in the middle. The middle cards included the Queen of hearts, Queen of clubs and the four of diamonds. Sigint’s own hand had the three of clubs and four of hearts and he believed he had a decent chance of winning this round.   
“Anyone forfeiting?” Para-Medic asked, hand already hovering over the next card.   
The men shook their heads and a strange feeling of dread washed over Sigint.   
“ _I swear to God if I have to get naked I’ll expose her for it!_ ”   
The card was four of spades.   
“I forfeit,” Para-Medic said suddenly, surprising Sigint. “Anyone else?”   
“No.” Zero said confidently, smiling to himself.   
“How about you, Sigint?”  
He scratched the side of his head, mentally arguing with himself.   
“No. I’ll stay.”   
With that, Para-Medic turned over the final card of the round. Four of clubs.  
“Damn!” Sigint yelled, ecstatic. “I’ve got four of a kind!”   
“What?” Zero leaned over to Sigint. “Let me see!”   
“What cards do you have, Major?” Para-Medic asked, throwing her ace and jack onto the table.   
“I’ve got a Queen and a three! How the hell did you manage to deal fours three times?”   
Para-Medic gave a forlorn look. “I’m just bad at shuffling I guess.”  
“Damn right you are.” Zero snorted, throwing his cards at her.   
Any apprehension Sigint had about seeing the Major naked had totally vanished. “Come on, Major,” Sigint practically sang. “You lost the round, you know what to do.”   
“Yes. I know!” Zero snapped, struggling out of his vest. He folded it neatly on the chair he sat on and both Sigint and Para-Medic burst into laughter.   
“How old are you both? Ten? Grow up.” The haughty tone of the Major contradicted the state he was in. The angry blush had spread to his chest and from neck to his pectorals, he was a deep shade of red.   
“Cool scar.” Sigint pointed to a large, faded scar perpendicular to the Major’s bellybutton. “  
“Thank you. I got stabbed.”  
“Oh…nice.” Sigint threw his cap onto the floor and cracked his knuckles.   
“We still playing?”   
“Oh yes.” Para-Medic replied, holding the deck. “I’m getting bored though. Anybody want to do a quick-fire round?”  
The Major raised his eyebrow. “And what does that entail?”  
“I give everyone two cards; the lowest pair loses.”  
Zero nodded. “Better than that Godawful poker.”

-

In less than ten minutes, Zero was eating his words. He had been dealt an ace and two, a two and two, and a three and an ace. In the space of just under ten minutes, the Major had lost his boots, his socks and his DPM trousers. Para-Medic dealt the final hand and the Major looked a mix of seething, embarrassed and depressed. If Sigint had a camera, he would have taken a picture.   
“What do we have guys?”   
“Eight and seven.” Sigint held his cards up to show the other two players. Zero scoffed.   
“Okay, I’ve got a seven and a four. So, not the best,” Para-Medic flipped her cards over. “What about you, Major?”  
With the same amount of enthusiasm as a manic-depressive attending a court hearing, Zero turned over his cards. A three and a four.    
“Oooh! Tough luck, Major!” Para-Medic consoled him in a mock-sympathetic tone. “You know what you have to do.”  
“Oh, shit.” Sigint grimaced at the Major’s legs. It was already bad enough staring at those long, bony things and Sigint certainly didn’t want to see what was between them.   
“Do I have to?” The Major asked, impatient with the whole game.   
“It’s the rules, Major. I’m sorry but I don’t make them,” Para-Medic put her hand on her heart and frowned though her cheeks were sucked in to stop the fit of laughter bubbling inside her. “If you’re really self-conscious you can use Sigint’s cap.”  
“Like hell he can!” Sigint quickly picked his cap up from the floor and placed it firmly on his head. “That’s gross!”   
Zero glared holes into Sigint who simply shrugged in response. “It’s now or never Major. I though the British showed strength in the face of adversity or whatever.”  
The last comment broke the Major as he stared into the ceiling of the airship. Slowly, he hooked his thumbs into the lining of his boxer-briefs and slowly began to pull downward…

“PARA-MEDIC!” The doctor’s headset buzzed with static and the machine monitoring Snake’s vitals began to whirl with life again. His heart rate monitor shot up, his adrenaline sky rocketed, and Para-Medic was quick on the radio trying to calm him down.   
“Party’s over I guess.” Sigint mumbled as he took the chair back to his own station opposite Para-Medic. He would probably get a codec call anytime soon, something about acquired weaponry or jail cell frequencies. The fun was good while it lasted.   
Behind him, the Major struggled to get his socks back on, tripping over his boots and nearly collapsing onto the table they used for poker. Composing himself, he quickly threw on his vest and hastily buttoned up his shirt, before sliding back into his trousers. Once he was clothed again, the Major pulled on his black boots, fumbling with the crease in his DPM trousers as he did so.   
“You okay, Major?” Sigint asked, headset now covering his ears.   
Zero paused, staring at the ground. “No. I’m not okay, Sigint,” He walked to the far end of the ship and picked up his jacket and paperwork before making his way toward the HALO deck.   
“If Snake codec calls, you will not mention what happened here while he was out. Is that clear?”   
Sigint nodded. “Yeah, Major.”  
Zero disappeared behind the curtain leading to the HALO deck and as his footsteps subsided, Sigint turned to Para-Medic.  
“Hey, doc!”   
“Hold on, Snake,” She took the headset off and looked back. “Yeah?” She asked.   
“I want my six dollars back.”


End file.
